Nowadays losing weight gets a fix idea of many women and girls as due to the media the ideals of ‘model’ slimness and beauty are firmly fixed in our minds. Trying to succeed in getting thinner and ‘more attractive’, we sometimes ruin our health and get some horrible experience. My story of losing weight is a sad one although I succeed in getting slimmer. But what was the cost I had to pay! I’d like to share my sad experience because I think it can be useful for girls and women in similar situations…
This is a phrase that became a funny cliché, and we often imagine a capricious pretty and slim lady saying it to her boyfriend or husband with the only aim – to hear: ‘No, you aren’t!’
However, almost every woman has a period when she realizes she needs losing weight.
As for my childhood I was a quite attractive and a little plump girl with round face, beautiful chubby rosy cheeks, a small tummy and a healthy appetite. I wasn’t thick or fat as I realize now looking at my photos of that period. They are photos of an attractive healthy girl. But I thought I was!
I have always been striving for perfection: I did well at school, was a true friend and a good daughter – no one had problems with me in my teens… except of me! I tortured myself with thoughts of being thick. They would maybe stay only my thoughts if once I didn’t see my cousin in one of the family celebrations…
‘I can get slimmer too!’
She was a distant relative and five years older than me. I saw that she was slim, attractive, successful, popular and her secret seemed to be obvious – she ate very little, in tiny portions, no sweets or cakes. I realized that getting thinner is quite easy – I only have to eat less.
So I started losing weight. I should stress that at the beginning of this process I was 14 years old with the height of 168 cm and the weight of 123 pounds (which seemed awful for me then and which I consider to be quite natural and not overweight now).
So my meals portions were getting smaller and smaller. I didn’t have any special (reasonable and healthy) diet, I just ate less. I didn’t have meals after 6 p.m., than after 5 p.m. and sometimes even after 4 p.m., but it was incredibly hard! The only good thing that I did about losing weight was going to the gym and doing exercise.
My parents noticed those changes in my diet and disapproved of them (and they were right!) so I tried to hide my attempts to lose weight from my family and friends. I lied to my beloved people!
However, the most significant for me was losing weight and I really succeeded in it! As I was not really overweight the process of losing weight was rather slow although the result was noticeable. After six month of sticking to such a ‘diet’ I weight already 105 pounds, so I had lost 18 pounds in half a year.
I was happy! But I didn’t want to stop dieting: I was afraid of possible losing the achieved results or my desired thinness, and I wanted to lose some more ‘extra’ pounds. The less I weight the harder it was to lose more pounds, so in the other six months I lost only 4 pounds and weight 101 pound…However, by that time losing weight wasn’t my only problem – I’d got a lot of them!
Pitfalls of losing weight
Health problems didn’t keep me waiting. And I should stress that many of them were rather delicate ones.
As I started to eat less, my intestine stopped working well and I got constipations. I was quite shy and didn’t discuss this problem with anybody, just tried to eat more vegetables but as my portions were still rather tiny it didn’t help. This problem seems to be funny but only if you don’t face it by yourself.
As a result of digestive disorders I got the loss of appetite, dizziness and stomach aches that meant the beginning gastritis. Besides, I couldn’t be pleased with my appearance because my skin, hair and nails weren’t healthy any more. And the most terrible thing of it was that my hair got very brittle and started to fall out. Now I realize that it was due to the possible problems with the endocrine system, but then I didn’t go to the doctor because I didn’t want to be ‘caught’ in losing weight.
My hardest and the most delicate problem started in a couple of months after I began eating less: my menstruation has just disappeared. As I was an adolescent girl, losing weight hit the finest system that was only developing its work at that time.
Month after month I was waiting for it, but nothing happened. Then I decided and told my mother everything. She said it was probably due to my dramatic weight loss and brought me to a doctor who confirmed it. A year and a half I didn’t have any menstruation at all torturing myself with the thoughts of possible infertility in the future. 18 months of constant waiting – it’s really hard!
One more problem was in my mind: even when I had all those health problems and realized the harm of my strange diet I couldn’t stop it. I realized that my problems could be solved when I come back to a normal diet and gain a few pounds, but I was really scared of getting a little plumper. Now I realize that it was the beginning of a dangerous mental disorder – anorexia, and I’m happy I was able to drop out on time!
Life after weight loss
In conclusion I can say that my body needed a few years to recover of those consequences of my losing weight. Now I’m a healthy and pleased with my appearance woman with a good family, nice children and an interesting job, and I could lose this future just trying to lose my imaginary ‘extra’ pounds.
I hope, my sad experience will help you avoid a bad mistake on the way to your real beauty!